vir non camelus est.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Round 7

A brave Black Fish outfit took to Court Three for the crucial Round 7 clash with traditional rivals East All-Stars - several team members were suffering from a cruel virus, and the squad was depleted by the absence of Rodgers, A (omitted). Crowd numbers, as always, were impressive, including the first appearance in season 2006 for the goodwives Nissen and Vasilunas.

There was a tinge of sadness in the night's events as it became apparent that this would be the last appearance in Winter '06 for Foundation player Suresh Rajapaksa. Our excitement at his acceptance of a playing contract in the NBA was tempered slightly when it was revealed that he will in fact be playing out the season in the WNBA. Nevertheless, we wish him the best in this exciting new chapter in his career.

As expected, the first half was a tense and skilful encounter. 'Chairman of the Boards' Rodgers (N) again led the way, but a tight full-court performance throughout the playing list ensured that the Fish took the honours in a tight first half. Some credit is due to the 'All-Stars' - it was revealed after the game that the All-Stars' playing singlets had accidently left their players in the wash too long and returned to find them shrunk to half their previous size.

The free-wheeling second half was both spectacular and frustrating. As the game opened up the scoring rate increased for both sides. The Fish, of course, were flawless, or would have been, if not for the pointless and infuriating monkey screeching of their pathetic opponents. It was eveident that despite the striking resemblance, the All-Stars side was not comprised of Monchhichis, since as we all recall 'Monchhichi mean happiness'.

Sadly, a desperate final few minutes by the Fish was not enough to see them avoid defeat 37-47.
The capacity crowd were unanimous, however, in awarding the Black Fish the moral victory. It was a cruel reality check for the Fish, whose recent rich vein of form had seen them clinb to second place on the ladder, however their strong percentage will see them retain a position in the top four.

On a lighter note, who could fail to be delighted by the apparently serious ankle injury suffered late in the game by one of the All-Stars (pictured here on his way to hospital). Had his writhing and grimacing not been so profoundly hilarious, the final scores may have been a little closer. Undoubtedly his loose-limbed sprawl at the end of the court will remain a fond memory for Fish players and fans for many years to come.

A bye next week means the Fish will have two weeks of intensive training (as is usual for them) before their return encounter with traditional rivals Spectrum (or at least those members of Spectrum who have not succumbed to vascular disease since Round 4). A massive crowd is again expected, so get your tickets early.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Round 6

The Black Fish returned to the court for their round 6 clash after a brief hiatus which saw thousands more women worldwide disappointed following yet another Black Fish wedding. The goodwife Chan made her courtside debut as the Black Fish faced up to traditional rivals the Aussie Bruddhas.

Regular readers of this column have come to expect an incisive description of the physical attributes of the opposing team. No such description is needed tonight. We know what we saw. Indeed, there are no words which can truly capture the spectacle which took place on Court 1 tonight.

Yet again the Fish started out with frightening defensive intensity which completely shut down their opponents, but were unable to capitalise on multiple scoring opportunities early in the first half. The cloud of frustration which began to descend on the heads of the Fish players was punctuated only by the shrill laughter coming from the courtside wife.

Despite their disappointments in offence the Fish were able to retard the attack of the Bruddhas who tried valiantly to put on a special performance. Half-time saw the Bruddhas scoreless but more importantly saw the Black Fish questioning themselves as to whether they had made the best use of their even number of chromosomes.

A fired up Fish outfit began the second half looking to put on a clinic, but from the outset it was clear that this would be far more than just a clinic. Indeed, it was more like a sheltered workshop. A withering full-court press, numerous stunning defensive intercepts, an impressive conversion rate from under the bucket, and some elegant shot-making from Nissen all combined to pressure a fragile brothers side. The Black Fish X-factor saw their opponents crumble.

Some flukey prayer shots by the Bruddmeisters added a modicum of respectability to the scoreline at the final buzzer but it was the Black Fish who took out the match 49 -10, extending their winning streak to 3 games. It was a satisfying percentage booster for the side as they attempt to consolidate a spot in the top four.

Next week sees another early clash against league newcomers (and traditional rivals) the East All-stars. Don't miss it.

Fixtures Winter 2006

April 27 : Black Fish v East All-Stars 6:45 pm

May 4 : BYE

May 11 : Black Fish v Spectrum 9:45 pm

May 18 : Black Fish v The Fakers 9:00 pm

May 25 : Black Fish v Air Supreme 7:30 pm

June 1 : Black Fish v East All-Stars 6:00 pm

June 8 : Black Fish v Aussie Bruddhas 6:00 pm

June 15 : Black Fish v Homebrand 8:15 pm

June 22 : Black Fish v DA Boyzzz 8:15 pm

June 29 : Black Fish v Spectrum 10:30 pm

July 6 : Black Fish v The Fakers 9:00 pm

July 13 : Black Fish v Air Supreme 7:30 pm

July 20 : Black Fish v East All-Stars 8:15 pm

July 27 : Black Fish v Aussie Bruddhas 6:00 pm

August 3 : Black Fish v Homebrand 10:30 pm

August 10 : BYE

August 17 : Black Fish v Spectrum 7:30 pm

August 24 : Black Fish v The Fakers 9:45 pm

August 31 : Black Fish v East All-Stars 6:00 pm

September 7 : Semi-Final

September 14 : Grand Final

Friday, April 7, 2006


Thanks to the slick photographic stylings of the incomparable Hoang Ly, we now have a site dedicated to a pictorial record of this great club. It can be found here.

Please spread the word (and if you have any photos you would like added to the site, please email me).

As a female spectator was heard to say at last night's game: "These Black Fish are not Men, but Gods!"

Round 5

The Black Fish juggernaut headed to the unfamiliar territory of court 2 for the late night round 5 clash with traditional rivals Lobetrotters. The history of simmering mutual dislike in every Black Fish v Lobetrotters match was again expected to draw a strong crowd, and for once expectations were met. The Goodwives Rajapaksa and Whittle created a raucous courtside din that clearly rattled the unfortunate-looking 'Trotters.

A tense opening period saw the Fish slip to a 4-8 deficit as they failed to capitalise on a number of strong scoring opportunities. In true Black Fish fashion, however, the men lifted in response to the plaintive wailing of the ravishing courtside beauties, and began to exert their dominance over the 'Trotters. The ironically-named carrot-topped 'Trotter "Carrot" managed to keep his side in the game until half-time with some aggressive drives to the bucket. It was clear from his condition, however, that his diet has consisted of considerably more than just his namesakes, and this told dearly in the second half as he all but faded completely from the game.

The inside strength of N. Rodgers, the dash of A. Rodgers, the defensive intensity of Nissen, the unflagging committment of Rajapaksa, the consistency of Vasilunas, the flawless outside shooting of Edwards and the unmistakeable class of Whittle all came to the fore in a second half best described as a procession. Only two late fluke shots by the 'Trotter dwarf-brigade kept the scorecard looking respectable.

At the final siren the Black Fish had extended their winning streak with a stunning 27-19 victory.

Next week sees the Easter hiatus, followed by the eagerly-awaited clash with traditional rivals the Aussie Bruddhas.


As expected, the popularity of this website is growing exponentially. Your experience of this site will be greatly enhanced if you view it using Firefox as your web browser (rather than Internet Explorer). The page looks better and the links will work better (particularly the club song).

It's a free download and will not do anything strange to your computer. It is truly a liberating experience.

And don't turn to the person next to you and whisper 'I think he's talking to you...'