vir non camelus est.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

TNPS VI - 26/9/15

Not a Thursday.
Not at night.
But plenty of pain.

Having been struck down by a pandemic-strength dose of man-flu earlier in the week, it was a partially-relieved BF00 who learned early today that BF06 and BF07 were willing to engage in some weekend suffering. It might not have been TNPS as we've come to know it, but it was still a cracking session.

On a glorious spring afternoon, these 3 foundation Black Fish took to the great outdoors. There was plenty of vitamin D. And possibly a bit of vitamin A and vitamin S.

The entire session was based on the principle of "walk back and forth carrying heavy things". Here's how it looked:

3x Hang Clean + 3x Push Press + 3x Hang Clean + 3x Push Press
Do at 88# for BF07 and 132# for BF00 and BF06 (BF00 first set at 154#)
Alternate players
3 rounds

Walking lunge @110# BB:
One length of tennis court + 5 thrusters @110#:
(66# for BF07)
Alternate players
3 laps each

Overhead carries at one heavy KB each:
Snatch into OH & carry 1 lap, change hands with snatch, carry back
80# for BF00; 53-70# for BF06; 53# for BF07
3 rounds each

Barbell overhead carry
2 full lengths of tennis court
3 rounds each:
BF00: 110/132/132#
BF06: 110#
BF07: 66/88/88#

5x KB Rack Squat + farmer carry x1 length of tennis court +
5x KB Rack Squat + farmer carry x1 length of tennis court
@ 2x53# KB
3 rounds each

BF07 doing well to get the calves out of the way during the lunge.

Tzatziki chasing shadows. Deep in the pain cave.

To be frank, none of us here at Black Fish headquarters can
understand how that clown Hemsworth pipped BF07 for the 
role of Thor. Here at #TNPS, Gods walk among us.

"I wish BF00 would shut the fuck up about external rotation. I
can't even remember which one that is. Fucking shoulder police"

"mmm, external rotation...."

"Seriously man, shut the fuck up about fucking external
rotation. My shoulders are just fine. Fucking rheumatologists"

Focus. Grit. Enormous plums.
It's what makes Black Fish great.

Twice as much glove as Michael Jackson. 
Half the propofol addiction.

In a TNPS first, BF07 simultaneously dislocates 3 joints.

BF06 dominating down the home straight; BF07 in hot
pursuit. Makybe Diva languishing out of shot in third place.

Wearing an original Black Fish Basketball Club cap has been
scientifically proven to increase strength by 10%. 
Sadly the Steve Waugh rag in BF00's pants can't be seen in 
this picture.

BF00 gladly walking into the light. Sweet relief.

This picture says everything about the mighty Black Fish:
Next generation Fish
Dangerously compromised spinal columns

Post-workout nutrition

So that's 6 TNPS meetings in the bag - almost time for an end of season trip! Might have to go to Mannum for a slab.

(of beer).

Thursday, September 17, 2015

TNPS V - 17/9/15

This week was shaping up as the first ever TNPS to feature 3 foundation Black Fish. But sadly an unexpected turn of events at the last minute prevented BF07 from attending his second consecutive pain society meeting (he also strenuously denies any implication that his absence related to any combination of camouflage gear, air rifles or pre-schools).

And so it was that TNPS stalwarts BF06 and BF00 were left to suffer, Christ-like, on behalf of all Black Fish.

And it was a beauty. The first ever TNPS routine to be unanimously voted as warranting a repeat appearance in the near future (nb voting panel consisted of BF00 only).

Here's how it looked:

1. Warm-up with shoulder dislocates

2. 10-minute maximum reps at 3 consecutive stations:
a. Pull-up - BF06: 68    BF00: 82
b. Dips     - BF06: 156  BF00: 115
c. Z-press - BF06: 169  BF00: 169

3. 30s ski + 90s rest, players alternate
    Each player starts at 145m and must increase by 1m each round
    Ends when both players fail to increase in the same round:

    BF06      BF00
    145         145
    138         147
    146         148
    145         149
    136         150
    137         151
    139         153
    140         154
    139         155
    141         156
    137         157
    138         158
    136         159
    134         160
    129         162
    136         165
    139         165
(end at 17 rounds)
(plus one bonus round for BF06 = 142)

Simple but painful. Just the way we like it.

How heavy can an unloaded bar feel?

Pretty heavy it turns out.

No filter*
(*not true)

Alex "Tzatziki" Rodgers: undisputed world dip champion

BF06 giving a death stare to his nemesis

All good things must come to an end...

See you next week!
(I'm looking at you, BF07)

Thursday, September 10, 2015

TNPS IV - 10/9/15

TNPS IV had two defining features:
1. On a happy note, it marked the TNPS debut of Black Fish veteran, premiership player and club legend BF07.
2. On a darker note, it was the most horrible edition yet.

But in true Black Fish style, the two foundation members who were present dug deep to suffer their way through an extremely unpleasant session. It was special to watch.

Meanwhile, another foundation Fish and premiership player (and hitherto hard man of the club), BF06, showed remarkable initiative in taking the TNPS for its second trip to South-East Asia in only the second month of its existence. Unfortunately the combination of humidity, volcanic ash and Bintang resulted in severe clouding of his judgment. His match report (verbatim) reads:

"today I did a yoga class and just had a massage with Balinese wrap at the Day Spa 
#NoFear #Hardcore #TNPS"

The thoughts of the entire Black Fish family are with BF06 as he struggles through this difficult time and we look forward to the eventual return of the man and athlete we used to know.

Back in the dimly-lit, ice-cold depths of the Farr House of Pain, the real men suffered through the following:

Warm up with squats, wall squats, lunges

Work up to heavy front squat:
SW max 275#
SE max 132#

4x4 front squat at 80% max:
SW at 220#
SE at 121#

500m row for time:
SW 1’30.3"
SE 1’40.9"

500m row + x reps FSPP @88# (x = number of seconds slower than baseline)
3 rounds, alternating players:

1’45.8” (5 FSPP)
1’45.9” (5 FSPP)
1’45.9” (5 FSPP)

1’37.4” (7 FSPP)
1’43.4” (13 FSPP)
1’42.8” (13 FSPP)

End (no bonus)

"Wait, I have to lift this bar up?"

BF07 in an elite "I Dream of Jeannie" pose

So exciting to have Bone McDermott drop in for a visit to our gym

These rowing intervals are going to get done, polio or no polio

It took forever to photoshop the pandas out of this image

The damage. Thankfully the bonus was averted.