vir non camelus est.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Round 10: BF v The Disgraced ("Fight Night")

On October 30, 1974, in the dark pre-dawn mist of Kinshasa, Zaire, an epic fight was staged between the brash young Muhammad Ali and the frightening Heavyweight Champion, George Foreman (later thought to be BF12's biological father). This was sport at its best. It was the 'Rumble in the Jungle'.

Who would have thought that just 11,915 days later, in the late-night chill of MARS stadium, another epic fight would erupt. And that (rather less successfully) it would come to be known as the 'Fracas at MARS'. Or perhaps the 'Melee at Marden'. Or the 'Brawl at the B'ball'. Or something.

In any event, the game began innocuously enough, with the Fish easing outing to a slender lead early before allowing the Disgrace back into the match. Things began to heat up early in the second half as the Fish began to exert more pressure on their pathetic opposition. It was at that point that Carrot's lieutenant-wanker, Fatty, finally caved in to the years of painfully-accurate gibes about his micro-penis, and bitch-slapped heroic BF point-guard Rodgers (A).

Enter Rodgers (N).....

And it was on. The teams decided to get it on, 'cos they don't get along. Several minutes of impressive pushing and shoving by the hard men of the Black Fish later, it was over. And the match was sensationally discontinued by MARS management, the personification of whom had dragged his last remaining molecules of articular cartilage into the fray, only to feel them expire under the weight of his haste (and waist), arriving in molecular purgatory only moments before the majority of his myocardium.

Fittingly, the basketball Gods smiled upon their chosen sons, awarding the game to the scoreboard leaders at the time of the stoush, thereby granting the Fish a mighty victory, 22-17.

The fight itself is difficult to describe, but several eyewitnesses reported it thus:

BF07 - "Super melee that. The details are less important than the lessons learnt :

1) Don't mess with the Rodgers boys
2) "The Disgraced" are not short of a tool. (Fatty = tool of the week; finally displaced Carrot)."

BF06 - "A gutless shirtfronting by one of the many fuckwits from the disgraced Disgraced led to a spirited Black Fish response (and a rather painful jaw,neck and head for me for the weekend) and sealed what would have otherwise been a rather clinical victory."

BF03 - "The Disgraced were angry that day my friends.
Towards the end of a generally unremarkable game which saw the Black Fish leading most of the the way, it happened; out of nowhere BF06 was maliciously "shirt-fronted" by a dirty, dirty player from the aptly-named opposition. Then it was on:
Angry words gave way to pushing, pushing turned into shoving, shoving graduated to wrestling with the occasional punch, then an almost all-in brouhaha ensued.
A tear came to this spectator's eye when big BF17 rushed in to save his little BF06 brother, and with this the melee was generally abandoned.
The game was subsequently cut short, but with the Mighty Black Fish ahead, we took the points victory along with the more important moral victory.
Disgraced indeed."

Undoubtedly a fine effort by the Fish, this may be the turning point that propels them towards finals glory. Watch out next week as they resume hostilities with Homobrand.

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